退而思之

wrote on 6th may -

So many things happened these past few days, And all the stuff seems change my life in certain extent.
i am the talkative gal, willing to share everything to my friends. but in this situation, i am speechless.When he tell me in the first time, I just try to say some rational words. Be honest, it s good for him, he should not miss the golden oppurtunity becoz of the tiny me. other than those rational words, my brain blank, like all the stuff was washed away by flood.
in fact, all gals wanna be your lover's baby, wanna hanging around with him. but i didn't have any other reason to hinder this. i hate myself being selfish.
thank you he had ask me the opinion, i felt being respected at first. thank you he had help me to think any possible ways...... i m really appreciate it. i will try my best at first.
i believe in destiny, if it is not yours, it still leaving you eventhough you hug it tightly.


it is 3:ooam now , just back from party @ cwb.
this is my first drinking party that i didn't drink any alcoholic things
when i back to the party, what a mess......
i hate myself that i didn't get drunk.
if i drunk, i can't see the tears of my friend, the anger of my friend.....any messy situations will not screen into my eyes.,,,my eyes are misted up .......
when i get off from a taxi, i felt so bad, i start to think i m so tiny...what can i do?....something was dropped on the street, n i found out its my wallet....anything i can't grab it tightly, even this bloody red tiny wallet.
every sad thing arise from my head again-
grab it or let it go ? is it workable if i just be faithful ?

everything seems unpredictable, unforseeable, uncontrollable.......it frightened me......
i just want to slip into my lovely bed with my simpsons. my only shelter...